A Prize Winning Pirate Joke

As you may know I love a pirate gag and constantly wind my boys up with continually worse and worse jokes.

Well they had to take all the abuse back last week when one of my pirate jokes became a prize winning pirate joke. The local theatre were promoting an upcoming comedy gig and offered 2 tickets for the funniest joke they received via Twitter. I entered and won!

So here is my award winning Pirate joke.

Where do pirates go for their holidays

Yaaaarrrrrmouth   (for anyone not from the UK its a coastal resort, which sort of diminishes the joke when you have to explain the punch line but hey ho)

My wife thinks it was the only entry they received!!!!!!

A Comedy First

Last week I took my youngest to his first comedy gig. It wasn’t what was planned just the babysitter had a better offer so instead of taking the wife I took my twelve year old.

He’s a big comedy fan, loves Mock the Week, Live At The Apollo and Russell Howards Good news, but live is a slightly different proposition to the carefully edited shows on the BBC.

Jon Richardson is fairly new to the comedy circuit and not someone who’s material I had seen much so it was a nervous night out to start with.


I could tell Jake was a bit wary, he’s seen people getting ripped before and as we were only 5 rows from the fun he was obviously nervous of being picked on. As the show started and Jon Richardson was kind to the members of the audience he interacted with he began to relax and enjoy himself.

Jon Richardson is a bit of an old grump (nothing wrong there) but he is very OCD on some topics especially cleanliness and he almost had a heart attack when a fleck of dust crossed his eye line on its descent from the lights. This became a running theme as he observed the theatre hadn’t been cleaned since Queen Victoria’s day and dust fell with amazing regularity. There were a couple of stories which could have been very squirmy to a 12 year old but they were well told and weren’t lingered on too much.

In the second half Jake was totally chilled and thoroughly enjoyed the rest of the show. Listening to him chuckling along beside me was great and Jon Richardson was excellent. Definitely on my see again list. I like a grumpy comedian who can have a good moan and get properly irate at times. So if he comes to a theatre near you get yourself a ticket.

On the way out we were presented with an upcoming gigs flyer so we have now booked for Milton Jones and Reginald D Hunter.

I have a new comedy buddy.

A Walk on the Surreal Side

Last night a trip to the local theatre for an evening of comedy. And a evening which you knew could go either way.

For any one who doesn’t know him Noel Fielding is a British comedian, actor and musician and he’s to say the least completely away with the fairies. I’ve not watched any of his TV series and just know him as a team captain on a music quiz. But I do like where he goes when he takes a surreal tangent into his own weird world.

So as previously stated this evenings entertainment could go either way and it certainly did.


The first half was more your usual stand up comedy just without any real jokes. Don’t get me wrong it was very funny but I think the wife would have nodded off or gone to the bar. And when I say the first half featured an animatronic Dark Side of the Moon, a plasticine Joey Ramone and an argument with Antonio Banderas being resolved with the use of tennis’s Hawkeye technology you may well have joined her for a large glass of some strong alcohol. Or a toke on whatever Noel had been enjoying.

And who would have thought that whenever Mick Jagger does his trademark clap on stage he is actually scaring away monkeys.


The second half was just something else, The Mighty Boosh side of the audience lapped it up but apart from a few moments and some very clever real world to plasticine world moments it whooshed over my head. There was some audience participation, a New York detective, a randy triangle, a rescue from a farting reverse minotaur and David Bowie stealing a baby.

joey noel2

But it was fun, it was certainly a different place to spend my Friday night and I still managed to fit in a few pints afterwards.

So if you fancy an evening you’re unlikely to understand with some genuine big laughs and a chicken with a real Southern drawl get yourself along to An Evening With Noel Fielding.